I just have changed my path, I have left my job which I didn’t enjoy and I have done a course to work with the dying and I also do healing, but at the moment things are moving very slowly and I just hope that I am on the right path JG 10.6.14
The problem here is in your head you don’t know what you want. You are thinking ‘I want this’ but you are also thinking ‘urgh, did I make a mistake? Did I run and jump off a cliff into the sea? The jump from the cliff into the sea felt good. I wanted that, but now I am in the sea, I cannot get back up hill. Did I want that, did I not want that, should I not have done that?’ That is problem for that gives the ‘urgh’ (negative feeling) and then that slows the momentum for the healing work. You must always have a knowing in your head, ‘I want this, not in the future, no, now. It’s here now. I am here, I am this. I want you to write on the contraption (computer); I want you to think in your head what is best for the healing and the working with the dying. Why I want it, when I want it, how it feels in me when I am doing all of this that I wanted when I ran and jumped off the cliff, my dream,yes, when I am doing my dream. How I am feeling when I am doing all these things. I want you to make a big, big list of all of this and you look many times at the list and you put new things on the list each time you look. You put bigger things and the list is growing. Now, this is important, as your list is growing, so your momentum for this is growing and the feeling of lying in the sea looking up at the hill, it’s not there. The feeling of the jump and the flying into water, that is there. The feeling, the momentum of the dream, you need to get it back. It’s gone, it’s too small now.
That is why you are not happy, that the things might not happen as you are wanting. There is doubt in your head that you made a mistake. It was not a mistake, no, the problem is that when you decide on the dream it feels good, the run at the cliff top feels good, the first float in the water feels good, but now what? That is the problem, you need a long list, growing each moment that you look on the list, put more new things on the list. Then what happens is that the momentum in your head has big thought-forms, strong thought-forms of what is wanted in the dream and the things of the dream they stick to your head. They are in your day. At present, you don’t have any momentum strong enough for any to stick.
I feel as if my intelligence and my mental focus is not as it used to be. How can I improve? JG 10.6.14
Your wanting is not what your wanting was. Your momentum is different from your momentum in earlier times. The head is still working, you can still have doings of the head when the momentum is there for those doings. Your dream is not the same as your dream before. The wanting is not the same. But also, another problem is that the monkey in your head is worrying. The monkey always worries ‘I cannot make the dream happen, it won’t happen’. Always that gives the head much time for the monkey and very little time for the dream. The stressing of monkey makes the part of the head that does the thinking have less momentum than the monkey has in the head. This is normal, that is how the physical body survives for the monkey has the bigger part survival part in the head. This will always have to be so. So how do you not have the problem? You have more momentum for the dream. Then as one thing, comes to your experience that is wanted for the dream, the monkey goes ‘Oh, ah, the dream it’s starting, it’s happening’, then there is less stress. Then the next thing for the dream soon manifests and the monkey again is less stressed. It’s not fast, it will take time to happen, but the monkey will be happy then, thinking ‘no problem, the dream is happening, I’m happy’, then the monkey sleeps. Then you can have the momentum away from monkey into the part of the head that is for the thinking, then it can be easy. Then the doings can be easy again. The monkey is the problem for that, but the monkey will not sleep if it’s not happy. It needs to know that it has not made a mistake, but has done what was wanted.